“Seriously Dad, you need to calm down. Amy’s eighteen now, she isn’t a naive little girl anymore.”
“Yes, she still is if she’s off with some hotshot pretty boy from school. Those kinds of bastards care more
about getting laid and throwing away their partners after a one-night stand, never mind if he has AIDS or
HIV!”
“Actually, he’s this wimpy nerd she met in computer art class and-What the hell?! I thought Mom got rid
of all your guns!”
“She did. I got this rifle off from a friend back in my old army days and owed me a favor. It was hard
enough finding good quality tranquilizers.”
“No, no, no, no, no, we are not doing this again! Did you not learn after the Taco Tuesday Incident?”
“Hey! I had to protect your older sister from that girly ass Ken creep!”
“Oh my god, you’re still hung up on that? We went over this again and again. His name was Ben and he
was gay. Sarah was helping him set up a surprise birthday party for his boyfriend. The same party you
ruined by barging in with a gun and shot the poor guy.”
“He was perfectly fine.”
“No, he wasn’t and neither was his boyfriend. You scared the shit out of everyone, especially those kids
who still have nightmares about you and set off his pet Satan.”
“His what?”
“You know, that little demon chihuahua that bit me in the nuts. Please, stop while you still have a
chance before she hates you for it for the rest of her life.”
“Now where did I put my keys?”
“Did you seriously not hear what I just said?!”
“Danny, help your old man out before your sister does something she will regret for the rest of her life.”
“Oh my fucking god, I am done with you.”
“I told you your father was too stupid to listen to reason.”
“Wha-Martha?! When did you get here?”
“I was here the whole time dear. Danny texted me that you are trying to ruin Amy’s first date with that
sweet young man I met yesterday. He even asked me for permission to take her to see that new movie she waited for weeks to come out.”
“B-but I-“
“But nothing. Now if you know what’s good for you, you will listen to me. You will leave our daughter be
and let her enjoy her date while you get rid of that damn thing before you get arrested again.”
“Y-yes m’am.”