Regina was always known as successful, tough and confident. She was also
considered one of the beautiful people. A jet-setter in the stock market, Regina had an uncanny
talent for making money, and lots of it. She wore designer clothing, was in love with her
Maserati, had numerous men and women wanting to bed her, or worse have a relationship with
her! She saw her sexual encounters as pleasant biological releases, and nothing more. She
had her heart broken long ago, and kept it that way. She was as vulnerable as anyone, but she
had an impenetrable internal safe, and all the bothersome emotions were locked in there that
she determined were of no use to her. “That shit made you soft!” She was in a highly
competitive, stressful business. “Soft,” wasn’t given permission to be in her life, be it
professionally, or personally, which would explain her hot temper. She wasn’t known for her
compassion, or one to give comfort. And forget about crying. She wouldn’t allow anything or
anyone to provoke a tear out of her. But an event had just taken place, which created one of
those moments where she felt something swell inside of her, and she most certainly didn’t like it!
She gripped the steering wheel as her tires spun in place with heat and smoke, until her
car leaped forward. A high pitched screech rose up, breaking the silence in the late evening air,
as she accelerated down her best friend’s driveway. Her face felt hot with frustration, anger and
something else she couldn’t describe, and she wasn’t the least bit interested in investigating
whatever that feeling was! That feeling kept trying to creep in between the edges of her psyche
now and again, but she had a willful armed guard that took up residence inside of her, and kept
it at bay.
Regina was most generous with her friends, as she had more assets than any of them.
It was easy for her to have numerous acquaintances, and a few very fortunate friends that she
loved, and would do anything for, especially if they needed money, however, emotional support
was not her forte, with that she kept everyone, including herself, at arm’s length. Whenever a
bout of “blue anxiety” would stake a claim on her mood, she would tell everyone that was of any
import, that she was going “dark,” and wouldn’t be checking her phone, and putting it on “do not
disturb,” until further notice. But on this particular evening she knew that Claire had somehow
gotten past the guard, sauntered into the forbidden zone of whatever was “soft,” and woke it up.
Regina came to a screeching halt and the end of the driveway, and turned off the
headlights. A streetlight glared down like a cone of white fog. The porch lights from the
neighboring houses were lit, and shined a harsh, white, fluorescent light that spilled onto the
bushes, and sidewalk. Regina took a deep breath, one after the other, as her mind raced to
places she didn’t want to go. She felt like crying, but cursed out loud instead,
“THAT BITCH!”
She repeated it, until she screamed it, while her fists pounded the steering wheel. She turned up
the volume of the music playing on the radio, in a further attempt to drown out the thoughts that
were fast approaching. She couldn’t believe it! Claire had nothing of the trappings that she had, nothing close to her wealth, her luxurious lifestyle, her title, nor had access to the high powered
people she associated with, never visited all the exotic places she had, and she was happier!
“HOW COULD THAT BE?!” Regina gasped in a loud whisper. When Claire talked about the sick
ones that had died, she became solemn, but when she spoke about the ones that healed, she
glowed. “SHE GLOWED!” Regina recited loudly to the closed sun roof above her. She played
back what had taken place just a few minutes before. She was such a bad friend to Claire!
Something happened when she talked about the patients she helped nurse back to health. She
exuded a peaceful and tranquil essence, a feeling that was calmly intoxicating without feeling
impaired. In fact, things never seemed as clear. Regina watched as Claire transitioned into
something other worldly, and it felt sacred. Claire looked angelic, and she seemed to be lifted
higher somehow. Regina knew she never had that, or never allowed that feeling to become
manifest. It filled Claire up with light. Regina almost wished she was crazy, hallucinating, but
she made a promise to never lie to herself. She remembered shouting,
“JUST BECAUSE YOU HELPED SAVE SOME ORDINARY LIVES MAKES YOU A HERO?”
At that moment, she saw the shock and hurt on her friend’s face, and it struck her with a hard
pang of sorrow, shame and regret. But it did nothing to quash the anger and confusion she felt.
Regina left soon after, her last words she shouted at Claire was,
“FUCK THIS!”
Regina bowed her face to her hands and wept for sometime. She didn’t really want to, but she
surrendered to whatever it was. She was too tired to fight anymore. All she could think about
was how Claire looked when she talked about people healing. And how angry it made her that
Claire possessed a type of wealth that she had never known. A stark reality filled her with both
dread and awe. She felt a fevered chill charge through her veins, when she came to realize she
only had it half correct, maybe even less than half. She begrudgingly accepted that whatever
that light was, was all that mattered. Regina didn’t attempt to analyze it, as she had a surety
she never had before, that it was a truth that would not, and could not be denied. She wiped
away her tears, blew her nose, turned the music down, turned the headlights back on, and
backed up the driveway to go apologize to Claire.